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Dark Mark's Dream Bike

Dark_markDark_mark Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, TRS/Baucco Officers
edited October 2016 in Main
I have gotten my dream frame, the Specialized Nosecone Shiv. This is quite literally the sexiest bike ever made.




Circumstances are such that I can build this up with the best everything. I am getting custom paint that will make all blood leave your extremities and gather in the crotchal region.

If you had carte blanche to build up a bike any way you could, what would you use?

I am talking everything: brake levers, BB, crank arms, fucking head set bolts. The wheels will be Enve and that is final.

Help me build the most fuckable bike ever made.
M_WareItsShugmbrekk44Tad_MachrowiczAaronWebsteyGasBombrigpigJames Langeespej09KuchNotSoFatLewtwig05EvanyournotuniqueDHansenTriHSeeley14slickfins_Ryanaskutch
«13456714

Comments

  • Options
    Zach BoringZach Boring Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    WELL THEN I SEE MY OPINION IS NO LONGER WANTED
    Dark_markHSeeley14
    Zach Boring, Overly Average Looking Man
  • Options
    Dark_markDark_mark Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, TRS/Baucco Officers
    @Zach Boring Your opinion carries more weight than all other opinions put together.
  • Options
    ItsShugItsShug Member, Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    edited October 2016
    Whoever took this picture really caught the sexual essence of that frame.
    Damn it looking good AF.

    Edit: the bike looks alright too
    Dark_markAaronWebsteyGasBombJames LangeyournotuniqueHSeeley14
    Demotivational Speaker
    Master of the Absurd - King of all Polls
    Kansas Native
    Tweets Me  Follow ItsShug
  • Options
    ellsworth53tellsworth53t Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    eTap. and flames.
    And whatever second-hand parts @Zach Boring happens to have lying around.
  • Options
    Zach BoringZach Boring Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    @ItsShug I've never heard another man reference another man's body as a "frame" before.
    slickfins_Ryan
    Zach Boring, Overly Average Looking Man
  • Options
    ItsShugItsShug Member, Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    yes you have. ben told me about you two
    Zach BoringMartinGasBomb
    Demotivational Speaker
    Master of the Absurd - King of all Polls
    Kansas Native
    Tweets Me  Follow ItsShug
  • Options
    ellsworth53tellsworth53t Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Take a look at this build. It's aight.
    AaronWebsteyrigpigScollyEvanyournotunique
  • Options
    Zach BoringZach Boring Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    @ItsShug Don't throw around accusations without evidence! I WILL SHUT THIS THING DOWN!
    M_WareMartinItsShugTad_MachrowiczCraig DGasBombyournotuniqueHSeeley14
    Zach Boring, Overly Average Looking Man
  • Options

    Should up the intimidation when coming up from behind ...
    ItsShugkjrunninKenElPescadoPeladoellsworth53tTad_MachrowiczCraig DAaronWebsteyGasBombPreachSwansonShepherdStruangFastCat1107CapenJames Langesimonsen77Brent_RNotSoFatLewEvanyournotuniqueDHansenTriChris10TriHollywoodslickfins_RyanMatt
  • Options
    I will be serious for a second and come back later with a jab. The new SRM carbon cranks that are on cyclingnews right now are the golden sex toys you need to lovingly transfer power from your virgin calf-skin clad shoes to the road.
  • Options
    mbrekk44mbrekk44 Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    edited October 2016
    E-tap, ceramic speed pulleys and BB, ENVE 7.8, SRAM red crank with quark
    Dark_markCapenEvan
  • Options
    dhrdhr Member
    Shimano 105.
    Tad_MachrowiczGasBombDark_markJames LangeEvanyournotuniqueTriHollywoodslickfins_Ryan
  • Options
    ItsShugItsShug Member, Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Dark_markGasBombyournotunique
    Demotivational Speaker
    Master of the Absurd - King of all Polls
    Kansas Native
    Tweets Me  Follow ItsShug
  • Options
    Dark_markDark_mark Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, TRS/Baucco Officers
    @Martin Link that shit
  • Options
    Robert RankinRobert Rankin Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    MartinBrent_Rtwig05DHansenTriJason Lentzke
    srm.jpg 26.1K

    Fattest BQ on record--- *allegedly
    2016 (and last) Rev3 Cedar Point champ- don't google the time though
  • Options
    Dark_markDark_mark Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, TRS/Baucco Officers
    Oh fuck i need that
    KPSwim13
  • Options
    MattMatt Member, Administrator
    Horizontal dropouts?

  • Options
    dhrdhr Member
    No disc brakes? What is this, 2011?
    MartinGasBombCraig DTad_MachrowiczDerekLMattyournotunique
  • Options
    Tad_MachrowiczTad_Machrowicz Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, Level 2 Supporter
    Pearl irridescent "ghost" flames that disappear, then come alive at different angles.
    Velvet dingleballs all around the interior headliner.
    Massive sub-woofer.

    I happen to think the SRAM red Quarq is cooler than the SRM above, (no offense to Robert). For now, the SRAM red in BB30 is way lighter than running a Dura Ace SRM with BB30 to Hollowtech II adapter. However, in deference to the cyclingnews highly technical claim of "ridiculously light" for the new SRM DA unit, you'd better get these specs. Their last stuff has to go on a "ridiculous diet" simply to match the weight of a SRAM Red Quarq in BB30. Of course your decision may be guided by trying to match the groupset you get. Personally, I'd have no problem running the SRAM Red crank with a DA setup, but I run mechanical so I don't know shit for shinola about the e-stuff. I've never heard that the cranks have any integration with the electronic groupset otherwise.

    My only request is you get the little name with US flag saying Dark Mark rather than your proper name.
    Dark_markGasBombyournotunique

  • Options
    Dark_mark said:



    Help me build the most fuckable bike ever made.

    If you use enough lube, you should be able to get your penis in the bottom bracket hole.
    KenElPescadoPeladoGasBombCraig DTad_MachrowiczMattyournotuniqueidking90DHansenTriHSeeley14TriHollywood
  • Options
    Dark_markDark_mark Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, TRS/Baucco Officers
    Yes, @Matt
    Matt
  • Options
    Dark_markDark_mark Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, TRS/Baucco Officers
    mbrekk44 said:

    E-tap, ceramic speed pulleys and BB, ENVE 7.8, SRAM red crank with quark

    E-tap: Check
    CS OSPW and BB: Check
    Enve 7.8: Most likely

    For the crankset I am doing a 1x build, likely the Absolute Black 1x sram direct mount. Still looking for a good crank arm, preferably very black. Looking for help here.

    Powermeter I think I am doing the PowerTap pedals so I can swap between this and the road bike.
    ellsworth53tGasBombKenElPescadoPeladombrekk44dhrBrent_Rtwig05EvanCraig DyournotuniqueHSeeley14
  • Options
    ellsworth53tellsworth53t Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Please continue to update this thread with pictures of the build.
    M_WareAaronWebsteysimonsen77MattEvanHSeeley14
  • Options
    Dark_markDark_mark Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, TRS/Baucco Officers
    I will do that @ellsworth53t. Will be a few weeks as it's getting shipped to the painter next week. I went with Jack Kane in North Carolina.

    http://kanebikes.com/mastergallery/nggallery/non-kane-custom-paint-jobs-restorations?album=5&;
    M_WareCapenGasBombKenElPescadoPeladoellsworth53tJames LangeFastCat1107AaronWebsteyyournotunique
  • Options
    How much is a custom paint job. Approximately. I'm sure it differs depending on what you want. I wouldn't mind customizing my frame.
    Evan
  • Options
    idking90idking90 Member, Pro Triathlete
    edited October 2016
    Turbo Cottons if you're going clincher Enves. The sexiest tire ever, plus, you know, they roll fast AF.

    Too bad eTap doesn't play nice as 1x, though, because that would for sure be the answer to me if an option. Something to think about, though, is that being 2011, the frame might not actually be the most optimized for electronic shifting, meaning you could have (gasp) a non-hidden battery, or have to take a drill/dremel to the frame, which is never ideal.
    mbrekk44
  • Options
    Dark_markDark_mark Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, TRS/Baucco Officers
    @idking90 My man @Zach Boring has already built up a 1x with eTap with really wide gearing, too. It can be done and it works.

    I know I will have to have the blip box exposed up front somewhere, but I actually have a clever place in mind that I think will look pretty slick.

    Duly noted on the tires. I like the new Vittoria graphenes as well.
    GasBomb
  • Options
    Dark_mark said:

    mbrekk44 said:

    E-tap, ceramic speed pulleys and BB, ENVE 7.8, SRAM red crank with quark

    E-tap: Check
    CS OSPW and BB: Check
    Enve 7.8: Most likely

    For the crankset I am doing a 1x build, likely the Absolute Black 1x sram direct mount. Still looking for a good crank arm, preferably very black. Looking for help here.

    Powermeter I think I am doing the PowerTap pedals so I can swap between this and the road bike.
    Tune SmartFoot for crankarms, or Cdale SiSL2 with the branding removed.
  • Options
    Not driveside -1
    simonsen77tcraigtri

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