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How could someone sabotage your race?
The Syracuse cheater said #sworry.
So let's increase everyone's paranoia, and build a list of all the ways someone could sabotage your race. I'm confident we have a creative bunch here.
- Di2 tricks - pulled eTube, unclip the battery on an external mount, etc
- 'accidentally' knocking their helmet to the ground and yanking the straps out of alignment (see: time lost by Frodo at Lanzarote);
- unscrewing the lid of their water bottle (comedy points if it was full of beet juice);
- nudging their brake so it rubs on the rim (extra effect if they ride a bike with the brake under the BB...).
What are your thoughts of things to add to your pre-race checklist of things to worry about?
So let's increase everyone's paranoia, and build a list of all the ways someone could sabotage your race. I'm confident we have a creative bunch here.
- Di2 tricks - pulled eTube, unclip the battery on an external mount, etc
- 'accidentally' knocking their helmet to the ground and yanking the straps out of alignment (see: time lost by Frodo at Lanzarote);
- unscrewing the lid of their water bottle (comedy points if it was full of beet juice);
- nudging their brake so it rubs on the rim (extra effect if they ride a bike with the brake under the BB...).
What are your thoughts of things to add to your pre-race checklist of things to worry about?
Comments
Slather some Tiger Balm or Icy Hot in running shoes
The old 'Snake in a Can' inside of a water bottle
when passing them on the bike after drafting for 51 miles, yell at them for drafting on you to reap confusion and then shove a stick in the wheels ala Ben Hur.
unofficial non-general counsel for TRS Racing and other TRS-related entities
unofficial non-general counsel for TRS Racing and other TRS-related entities
Queen of All Donut Awards
Groovy Auntie to Roosters everywhere
* add 1 more mm to the thickness of their wet suit
* turn their phone on ring and then CALL IT during the race (you all know you have your phones with you, don't lie...)
* ask your mom to hand them something on the run
I was actually tempted to do this once to a "pro" who moved all my buddies stuff outside of the transition area saying the rack was for "elites" only at a beginner marketed super sprint with no elite category or prize purse. The reality is this jack off got to transition about 20 minutes before the race started, couldn't find a good spot, and moved all my buddies stuff (who was doing his first triathlon) so he could take his spot. He didn't just slide him over or put him on another rack, he placed all his stuff outside of the transition area fencing. He then won by about 15 minutes and posted the result on his resume.
- Crank the barrel adjuster on the RD a few turns so they have crappy shifting (though with half the bikes I hear during races, they might not notice. Seriously, learn how to tune a RD).
- Crank the barrel adjuster on their brakes all the way closed (or all the way open)
- Cover the handlebars and seat in either glue or grease.
- ziptie bike to transition rack
- JB Weld their chain to the cassette
The first two you could do and they would never know someone screwed with them. The others are a bit more obviousI mean, thankfully no one was hurt, this was taken seriously, she is being punished and will continue to be, her reputation is ruined and she is seeking help.
What more do people want?
And I don't dream of cheating because there is no way I could sabotage the 100 people faster than me for it to matter.
Great Uncle, Average Father, Mediocre Triathlete