_MurMan

I was Peter Pan last year.

My first year of racing Triathlon was basically a game of "How Hungover Can I Be and Still Race". Seeing how I showed up late to this thread, maybe this will be helpful down the road:

1) Don't be old. If you're over 35, you probably shouldn't stay out until 12am the night before a race. Its just not gonna happen. well maybe for a local 5k, but dont push it.
2) Back every beer, shot, mixed drink, with a glass of water. It works wonders and you still get drunk. The only Side effect is excessive urination.
3) Try not to be too old.
4) Drink Vodka Gatorade*. BOOM. Electrolytes, hydration, hammeredness rolled into one bevy.
5) When you wake up, power chug some coffee and pop like 800mg of Ibuprofen. Coffee will offset the the tiredness of the hangover and get you back to that "man I might be drunk still state" and the Ibuprofen will make you impervious to pain!
6) Don't be a bitch about. Get out and Hammer.

*Pro Tip: DO NOT use your race day water bottles to mix your Vodka Gatorade.. This will only end in disaster. You will either a) not rinse it out and taste it on course or b) not finish it and end up drinking the rest of it on course. Both end terribly.

@GentlemanJerseyDave I actually shoved a guy out of my way at my half mary last weekend. He changed his lane drastically from for right to blow kisses to someone hat looked more or less like a truck.. then saw the guy taking pictures and ran all the way to the other side of 2 lane road, nearly tripping me up. Basically went beast mode on him, but it wasn't in the chute, and I wasn't going to miss a stride or trip over some fucktard... But I immediately said sorry, then ruined all his pictures from there on out.

Tinder is not all its cracked up to be... I have 1000 "matches" and no one wants to bang... maybe I put them off telling them about all the training i do... but shouldn't they be impressed by that? its impressive right?

well something happened here last night... Either @james_lange had a great time or had a seizure coupled with a stroke. Someone should go check on him!

Eyooooo 8 hours of work till Kansas!!!! @ItsShug ready yourself my friend, time for chaos to ensue.

I didn't realize this was specific to women until I was almost done... anyway I filled it out to the best of my ability and if anyone ever sees my answer to "why do you like pro women to be at racing events?" I think it was a very diplomatic answer lol "more women racing means more women in training which in turn leads to more women in my riding group and I might find a girlfriend!" Let me know if you need any more helpful gems like that one!!

So this is gonna be super fun )

For when you don't have time to spare, shed minutes off of mealtime with Carbon Fiber Chef!

Alright so I was throwing around the idea of doing an easy to read, quick meal column. There is way too much out there that is essentially made up fad diets, that people push so they can sell you some bullshit book and make a buck off of you (Gluten Intolerance being one). So I want to provide something interesting true and free of bias from some asshole that wants you to buy his book! After much discussion this is what has been created; "The Carbon Fiber Chef" easy and quick to make meals, without the high price of Carbon Fiber. The first installment I did on Florida. So hope you enjoy. Any feed back is welcome and appreciated!

This week on Carbon Fiber Chef we are heading to Toughman Florida! And what is more Florida than oranges? Not a whole lot. So lets learn a thing or two about the benefits of adding them to your diet and using them when you are cooking, while racing through the orange producing capital of the world! The first thing you think of when you hear someone say “oranges” is most likely Vitamin C and you would be right. Orange’s pack more than 100% of the daily recommended Vitamin C you need but there are also several other benefits to oranges that are less commonly known. For starters fiber, specifically citrus fruits are packed with the stuff. So not only will it boost your immune system but also helps keep you feeling full and keep you out of the junk food closet!
Another upside for citrus, besides health reasons, is it is great for cooking. Many wonderful marinades (such as the one we use here) and dressings contain some form of a citrus juice. If you use citrus, you can limit your need for using salt or premixed seasoning packets that are loaded with sodium, for flavoring. The juices from one lemon, lime or orange will add sufficient flavoring and you won’t even notice the missing salt!

Orange-Citrus Marinated Chicken:

Ingredients:
• 1 bunch of Scallions (thinly sliced)
• ¼ bunch of Cilantro (if desired)
• 3 Garlic Cloves (finely chopped or mashed)
• zest of 1 Lime
• zest of 1 Orange
• ¼ cup of squeezed Lime Juice (roughly one lime)
• ½ cup of squeezed Orange Juice (roughly one orange)
• 2 tablespoons Vegetable Oil
• ¼ cup Soy Sauce (Reduced-Sodium if available)
• 2- 2.5 pounds Chicken Breast

Preparation:
Set aside ¼ of the scallions you have chopped and your chicken. Take the remaining ingredients, cilantro, garlic, lime and orange zest/juice, vegetable oil and soy sauce and place in a large bowl. Mix well using a wire whip or spoon. After mixing set aside a ¼ cup of the marinade. Place remaining marinade in a Ziploc bag with chicken; shake until chicken is completely coated. Remove the chicken from the plastic bag and place on a broil safe pan and broil on high for 5 minutes on each side. After 5 minutes each side set broiler to low and cook until done (165F).
Once finished remove chicken from oven and place on serving dish. Drizzle the marinade set aside on top and sprinkle remaining scallions around for a nice looking presentation.

Time:
Prep- 15 minutes
Cook- 25 minutes
Total- 40 minutes

*Chicken can be marinated ahead of time for 2-4 hours. Keep chilled.

Pictures of finished product will be included on future posts, if this is something that people enjoy reading!

Is it just me or does @HSeeley14 seem like the kinda gal thats just cruel enough to pull the old switcharoo and put Icy Hot in the Cream bottle, on an unsuspecting victim...