Starting immediately, all new users must be approved by a moderator (due to spam issues). #sworry
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If you are a pro triathlete, please click here to DM AaronWebstey for access to the 'Pros-only' private forum. Don't forget to include your real name, and a link to pro race result would be great if you're a 1st-year pro.
My dad, Laius, King of Thebes, was warned by an oracle that I'd kill him one day, so I was sent to die on the mountain of Cithaeron. Luckily a shepherd found me and brought me to a dope castle in Corinth run by this King Polybus cat, who raised me as his own. I got high one day and ended up at an oracle in Delphi, and she told me I was destined to kill my father and marry my mother. I was like, "Whoa, I gotta get the fuck out of Corinth," because I had no idea Polybus wasn't my real pops.
I decided to hitch-hike to Thebes and ended up getting into some shit with this old dude on my way. Being a gangster, I had to kill the mother fucker. Anyway, I get to Thebes and find out their king just got murdered and this big ass Sphinx had taken over. No one could solve the Sphinx's riddle to get rid of him, and I was like "I got this," so I solved that shit and they made me king. I inherited this MILF Jocasta as my queen from the dead dude, which I was cool with because I always had a thing for more experienced women.
Long-story short, I did some detective work to find out who killed the last king and it turned out he was the dude I had to kill on my way into town. I did a little more digging and realized he was my biological dad and Jocasta was, in fact, my mom...which was super fucked up because we'd been banging for a few years at that point and even had a little one.
As you can probably expect, mom didn't take the news well and hung herself. I'd had like a fifth of JD at that point, so I ended up grabbing some pins off her dress and stabbing my fucking eyes out.
So Mom and Dad are dead and I can't see shit. Happy fucking Father's Day.
I don't have any money (obviously) but would love to help promote this little endeavor. I think it could be viable, especially if you built it out to include things like the marathon majors. Happy to help spread the word on some real tri sites and forums if this gets going.