DHansenTri

No idea if this has been posted elsewhere, but the title of this thread makes it appropriate:

vox.com/2016/1/29/10868392/stephen-colbert-debate-donald-trump

As a triathlete and the husband of a pro triathlete my points and tips if you're in such a situation:
- Your house will turn into a giant pile shit no mater how hard you 'try' to keep it neat. Don't fight it, just let it happen.
- Have separate credit cards to maximize points at grocery stores and travel. Oh, and hide them from your wife.
- In fact, maintain separate bank accounts at all times, otherwise you'll see what kinds of stupid bullshit she thinks she needs to maximize her performance.
- Don't buy the cheap toilet paper... just don't, the investment is worth it.
- Sex? Ohhh yeah... we used to do that. Do yourself a favor and just forget it entirely, or convince her to have an open relationship. No matter what it doesn't end well.
- Make sure your neighbors know you're triathletes and that the noise coming from the basement is indeed bike riding and not freaky sex or you beating your wife.
- Don't book travel too far in advance and always make sure it's refundable.
- If at all possible do the same long course races. It's a lot easier to time your lives and trips together. It wicked sucks if one persons killing a large pizza after just finishing a race while the other is in a build week.
- Setup two TV's in front of the trainers. You'll never finish a 5 hour ride watching the stupid shit she puts on.
- When riding together lead so she doesn't have to, oh but you better not ride too fast or too slow. And for the love of god don't drop your wife on the long ride - the consequences are ugly, trust me.
- If she drops you on a long ride you better get your ass in gear - she doesn't like waiting at the car.

I live about 3/4 of a mile south of Lake Ontario just north of Rochester, NY. The beach right there next to my house is frequently closed due to high bacteria count in the summer. A couple years ago a local triathlete swam into a dead body, and frequently bodies wash out from the Genesee river. i.e. the swimming here isn't great.

Tonight I'm trying to forget about large funds transfer I just made to Ms. Hansen who ran up some large credit card bills. Word of advice, don't marry a pro triathlete, they are mostly deadbeat, money sucking pits of hell.

Did you also get something "extra special" for your gifts to her @DHansenTri

She has increased her affection for me, slightly (meaning she makes eye contact here and there). In all seriousness, she's been putting in 25 to 30 hour training weeks lately and is totally focused on her early season races. I have a better chance of convincing my dog the make nice with me than my wife.

Wife got me a GoPro (which is absolutely perfect for our travels this year) and about 5lbs of various high quality meat - bison roast, porterhouse, etc. Awesome gifts! I've been asking her to buy me steak for Christmas for 3 years to which she has always replied "you are fucking stupid... that's not a good Christmas present. No one will buy you meat so stop asking." I think I won.

All I know is that I bought the wife a disc wheel. Whatever she gets me better be Fing amazing. Who knows, maybe I'll get some sex. Unlikely, but maybe.

It's Friday, I'm drinking wine.
- My wife and I just booked a 13 day trip to New Zealand so she can finally race since crashing in Coz last year.
- I also bought her a disc wheel last month (I know, I deserve cookies and beer delivered daily), and am now thinking I deserve a new wheelset.
- I think something died in my basement, literally, since it smells like old women vag mix with sour milk and limburger cheese.
- My parents sent out their annual Christmas Newsletter - the wife and I have been downgraded to the bottom of the letter because we haven't reproduced and are only doing "Iron Man Triathlons" never mind qualifying for the championship of one of the World's greatest endurance challenges.
- My wife ate my dessert and I snapped at her proceeding to complain about how she's a selfish a-hole and should stop stealing toilet paper from my bathroom.
- The bitch on Jeopardy is pretty fat and looks like she's enjoyed too much cheese cake.
- Shit, I wish I had cake

My wife made me run a 10k just so we could win the husband / wife category. We've been waiting for awards post race for about 1.5 hours now. If we didn't win this I'm going to kill shit. At least I get 2x the pie as @DawnC .

lol, LET ME EXPLAIN! I do have matching wheels, the road bike was a setup for a draft legal triathlon (Zipps are more aero than Mavics) and I only have a Zipp Disk for the rear. That said, the organizers changed the race to a draft illegal only a day before so I switched both wheels to my aero bike. Didn't want to use the disk because there was a lot of cross winds.

@TheRealStarky I was getting ready to dismount here, but I do have a problem staying aero on this bike in a 70.3 or full Ironman.

I completely understand @Saqeralkhalifa. You didn't have your disc wheel handy when they switched the race format, BUT luckily just happened to have your tri bike in the plane. Definitely would have been better off saying there was a missive sand storm with 100kph wind or some shit and they wouldn't let you ride your disc.