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Matt

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Matt
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  • The much anticipated, loved by everyone, super official, team TRS/BAUCCO SECRET SANTA!!

    Mine just arrived today: a freaking book of 30 BAAW submissions and critiques



    Love that each one was given a title





    Thanks to @Brent_R for putting this together. It's beautiful; I'm floored.





    kjrunninsimonsen77KenElPescadoPeladoItsShugwchevronM_WareAaronWebsteyCraig DdoyoueventribroKuchGasBombDark_markDawnCneil5youngEvanRobert RankinJennifer PostTad_MachrowiczHSeeley14iamuwereyournotuniquerangamelGrantInSLC
  • Oh Canada





    M_WareAaronWebsteykjrunninwchevronsimonsen77yournotuniqueStruangNotSoFatLewrangamelRobert RankinHSeeley14DawnCTad_MachrowiczMamaCheetahKenElPescadoPeladoGasBombjimmymstevensonDHansenTriFastCat1107
  • Heavy/Death/Grind/Black/Weird Metal

    * POWER METAL
    The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

    * THRASH METAL
    The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

    * HEAVY METAL
    The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.

    * FOLK METAL
    The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.

    * VIKING METAL
    The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

    * DEATH METAL
    The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

    * BLACK METAL
    The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.

    * GORE METAL
    The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

    * DOOM METAL
    The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

    * PROGRESSIVE METAL
    The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.

    * GLAM METAL
    The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

    * NU METAL
    The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

    * GRINDCORE
    The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about two minutes and then leaves…

    * Gothic Metal
    The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duet when he shows up, they sing while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly the dragon swallows up the pipe and accidentally scorches the beauty and the protagonist, and then he suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell for eternity.

    * Industrial Metal
    The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

    * Speed Metal
    Suddenly there is a short solo, the dragon is confused; someone’s screaming weird stuff; the princess realizes she’s been deflowered; the dragon and the princess are still looking for the one who caused this.

    * Christian Metal
    The protagonist rides in on his way home from Church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to 'thank’ the protagonist he replies, “Sorry, but I don’t believe in having sex before marriage.”

    * SYMPHONIC METAL
    The protagonist enters the lair of the dragon with a full choir and orchestra, and the princess sings notes so high-pitched that she makes the dragon go deaf. The dragon tries to burn them all to death, but all of the members of the choir sing so loudly and unified, that it creates a protective bubble, which only grows in strength from the lead guitarist’s solo later in the song, and the flames bounce back and the dragon ends up killing itself while everyone escapes.
    dhrGasBombAaronWebsteyM_WarerigpigGregwarroKenElPescadoPeladoCraig DDawnCADRBillyGranpa Chookdch93CJBerg007wchevronCapenItsShugdanimal_Tyournotunique
  • 2017 Race results and pics

    1:25:30 at the Scotia 1/2 Marathon today. Bummed because my calf felt like it imploded at 17km and I had to hobble my way to the finish after stopping to stretch it twice. Was on pace for a 1:20 and about 40 people passed me and it hurts so much.

    Lemme find that Garmin file tomorrow. Negative splits are for suckers!

    SeanHKenElPescadoPeladoM_WareCraig Dsimonsen77GasBombRobert RankinTad_MachrowiczDawnCKuchMartinAaronWebsteyfyrehaartoebutt769GentlemanJerseyDaveGranpa ChookMamaCheetah
  • Penticton

    So, is everyone going to start sending unsolicited texts about CatFacts™ to @HSeeley14 ?


    M_WareCraig DKenElPescadoPeladoCollege_TriDark_marksimonsen77scottyAaronWebsteyTad_Machrowiczidking90Brendo78HSeeley14wchevronmaggieruRobert RankinGranpa Chook
  • Friday Boozing Open Thoughts Thread


    KenElPescadoPeladowchevronRashStruangkjrunninM_WareItsShugAaronWebsteyTad_MachrowiczCraig Dellsworth53tJennifer Postmbrekk44College_TriAlexS
  • Flat kit storage solutions...

    @Matt , so disappointed you haven't posted the GIF of the condom and lube solution to this problem....
    It's not a solution. It's a lifestyle.


    Well, @Robert Rankin said he uses a saddle, so my normal recommendation of 'using just an aero seatpost' is not going to cut it.



    Robert RankinCraig DjayrodwchevronAaronWebsteyTad_Machrowiczsimonsen77HensatcBrendo78Brent_RRashShepherdKenElPescadoPeladoGranpa Chook
  • 2017 Race results and pics

    Nick went 4:23:27 (29:22 / 2:26:03 / 1:24:27) for 22nd OA (8th OA AG) and 2nd M25-29.
    simonsen77KenElPescadoPeladoM_WareGentlemanJerseyDavekjrunninDark_markCraig Dmbrekk44EvanRashAaronWebsteyRobert RankinKuch
  • i'm new here

    Let's beat (off) this dead horse again...


    wchevronKenElPescadoPeladombrekk44Kuchsimonsen77DawnCTad_MachrowiczGasBombMartinHSeeley14SdogCraig D
  • Don't do this at home!


    Craig DMartinAaronWebsteybalsdorffyrehaarTad_MachrowiczMamaCheetahBrent_RrigpigHensatcGasBomb

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