Starting immediately, all new users must be approved by a moderator (due to spam issues). #sworry
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If you are a pro triathlete, please click here to DM AaronWebstey for access to the 'Pros-only' private forum. Don't forget to include your real name, and a link to pro race result would be great if you're a 1st-year pro.
In case you need more proof of my hip-hop credibility, just know that I'm the only member of this forum who has done a shot with Akon.
It all started at the pre-race dinner for the inaugural (and only) Challenge Bahrain. "His Highness" Sheik-Nasser-bin-Hamad-Allah-Human-Torturer was up on stage giving his little spiel and said, "We have a big surprise for you at the post-race party...AKON!" I think he assumed everyone would cheer, but clearly I was the only one who knew who Akon was because I was the only asshole clapping.
Later that night Macca took me over to meet "His Highness" because we were racing in the same age-group and I thought it'd be fun to talk some shit to a prince (but not too much because I didn't want to be killed). I asked him why Akon of all people and he said that Akon was his favorite rapper and he performed in Bahrain all the time (weird, I know). I said I was a huge Akon fan (a lie) and that he was huge in America (also a lie).
Flash-forward to the post-race party and I walked up to Nasser to congratulate him on kicking my ass, even though I had suspicions he was doping. He thanked me and said he wanted to introduce me to Akon because I was a "huge fan." So he walked me over to where Akon and his boys were having a few drinks before going on stage. I had a brief chat with him about his musical inspirations (turns out he was a big Bone Thugz fan growing up), we did a shot of Patron, and he did a short, maybe 6-song set before Moody Blues played for an hour and a half (didn't see that one coming, did you?)
Anyway, that's the most gangster story I have. Thanks to @AaronWebstey for giving me a place to share this because this is the kind of stuff Triathlete Magazine has no interest in publishing.
@Jennifer Post Thankfully she hasn't seen any of the French team in a speedo. At least not that I'm aware of.
One time when we first started dating she came to pick me up at the pool after I'd gone swimming with Crowie. He of course walked out of the locker room with a shirt off and I saw her jaw drop in the car. When I got in she was like, "WHO IS THAT AND IS HE SINGLE?"
I made the mistake of telling Crowie about it a few days later and now every time I see him the first thing he asks is how my wife is doing.
@James Lange I really don't know why I've been so fucking angry at triathlon lately. Maybe it's because everything else is going surprisingly well... I'm finally making some OK money in this sport; I've got my back issues under control and I'm [somewhat] fit again; the Cubs haven't blown their season yet. Not to mention they just legalized weed and gambling in Illinois...on the same fucking day!
I guess I just don't have anything else to be angry about. I'm sure the Cubs will fuck that up at some point this summer and I'll go back to not caring about all the ridiculous shit Ironman does.
@Granpa Chook If any triathletes are involved (which we still don't know for sure) the names will definitely come out. The good thing here is that it's an investigation being run by prosecutors and police, not WADA/NADOs and Ironman. An Austrian prosecutor isn't going to sweep the name of a German triathlete under the rug to save the sport some face.