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Member, Rooster Endurance Member, Level 2 Supporter, POTM
  • Welcome (back) to The Triathlon Roost

    KenElPescadoPeladoTad_MMattpattM_WareMattAaronWebsteyMatt_FroeseCraig_DRyan HeislerkjrunninDerekLMartinPreachSwansonwchevronHensatcsimonsen77CapenyournotuniqueRobert Rankintoebutt769EvanJames LangeHSeeley14
  • Century Ride + Century Club: Would You Die?

    100 shots=100 oz=8.33beers (assuming normal 12 oz can) Pretty sure most of the guys on this forum call that Tuesday.
    M_WarepetejakesaundersdhrCapensimonsen77kjrunninDHansenTriKenElPescadoPeladombrekk44wchevronCraig_DPreachSwansonMatt_FroeseJames LangeTad_Mtwig05rangamelet5504
  • Dumb New Guy Questions - What is #slowmerta?

    Um, go back and listen to Ben's first few podcasts. He was originally playing a "character". This brash asshole known as The Real Starky. As you can tell from his more recent work, he's just a plain asshole now. The beef with slowtwitch goes back to that original "character" and some unwanted posts from Ben on that forum. Nowadays TRS is just trying to be the best TRS it can be. Plus, since those early Twitter and Slowtwitch days @Aaron Webstey has built us this magnificent forum where we can share jokes, ideas, and arguments in a douchebag free zone. Actually there are still a few douchebags on this site as well, but they are our douchebags and that makes all the difference.
    regular_markDawnCJennifer PostM_WarekjrunninjakesaundersStruangMartinMonosyllabic-AZTad_MRobert RankinCapenAaronWebsteyCraig_Dmbrekk44twig05DHansenTri
  • NEW HERE!!

    @KHilgendorf Dude, I'm a 43 year old with a dad bod who spends his weekends running around in spandex. You really think I'm worried about being embarrassed? Bitch please.
  • Ryf is not a doper, here is the evidence.

    Where the hell is our KOAP when we need him ( @GasBomb )? Recovering? psh

    I would add that the scale should be Swallow - Uli with 8 levels (inclusive) in between. The scale starts at Swallow because she is the only person that I 100% believe to be clean. I also believe that Jodie would have no qualms about offing a fucking doper, whether it be James Cunnama, her mother, or the pope.

    So, on a scale of Swallow - Uli, how do you feel about Ryf?
    I'm at 4, up from a 3 pre-Kona. For reference, I assign a 2 to Jan and Sebi (Jesus, I hope they don't read this, I'm still a big fan of both of those dudes).
    First (and most importantly), the polls will be starting up again this week. I was having a little vacation (because my TRS paychecks kept bouncing) and figured I would start in again after Ironman Louisville. Now, to be clear, I assume anyone that is faster than me is doping. So 90% of my competitors are absolute drug cheats. No reason to dig any deeper. Just really disgusting human beings. As for Daniela, of course she is doping, I mean anyone that is at Kona is doping. They have to be. (for proof see my above argument) Also, back to me, I finished in 1199th place at Ironman Louisville (aka the world championships of Kentucky), so disappointingly that means 1198 people were dopers. So in summary the ninja turtle movies were just a complete miss for me. Just a big Michael Bay mess of silly toxic goo. You may now suck or lick your favorite bag of cocks now. (If you're Canadian, it's your favourite bag of coucks)

    balsdorfkjrunninjakesaundersMattA_drizzleJennifer PostAaronWebsteysimonsen77MartinTad_MEvanRobert RankinHSeeley14M_Waretwig05
  • King/Queen of all Polls

    I wasn't going to apply for this prestigious position with TRS; however, it has become clear my talent is needed. I apologize profusely to the prior applicants. We appreciate your time and noble attempts. Please swing by reception on your way out, we do validate parking.

    1) Let's play word association:
    Pain Cave, FTP, Rock the Cock, Paulo, Crank Length. You are:

    A. Triathlete reading TRS forum.
    B. Lonely and looking in Poway, CA

    2). Most presidential/prime ministerly name (not counting Jimmy):

    A. George
    B. Justin
    C. Margaret
    D. Khalifa bin Salman Al Khalifa

    3). TRS racing has two magnificent teams, The Red Cocks and:

    A. Black Lighting
    B. Black Lightening
    C. Black Lightning
    D. All Blacks

    4). Toughest Ironman Bike Course:

    A. Mont Tremblant
    B. Lanzarote
    C. Puerto Rico 70.3
    D. Kona

    5). Thomas Gerlach's cause of death

    A. Overtraining
    B. Over Racing
    C. Peasant Uprising
    D. Bike Accident
    E. Choking on his own tongue
    F. Karma

    ****Sound Effect***

    Microphone hits the stage. High pitched squeal. PEACE OUT HOMIES!!!
    M_WareAaronWebsteyA_drizzleRyan HeislerjakesaundersKenElPescadoPeladosronkPreachSwansonCraig_DFastCat1107MartinMattyournotuniqueDHansenTri
  • You get to go back in time before you started triathlon.What do you say to your past self?

    Hi 16 year old GasBomb. Don't quit the swim team. Let's face facts, you are a 5'10" white boy that can't jump, go ahead and shelve those basketball dreams and keep swimming. Oh and in a couple years you're going to meet a seemingly nice girl in college named Cindy. Run!!!!!!
  • POTM May 2017

    Woohoo! @GasBomb is back!
    Ha ha. Not 100%. Still have about 2 more weeks of 16 hour days and then back to normal. Oh, and I will make sure and spend lots of time on the roost next month talking about my Ironman. (Santa Rosa) Smooches!
    Can't wait to hear all about that 100 you're running. How's training going for that btw

    After lots of research, I have discovered that ultra running is all about being "natural". So, my training consists of growing all my body hair back and going to farmers markets. I am gonna be so ready for the Hennepin 100!!!

  • UFC Triathlete Matches

    Undercard: Chrissie Wellington vs Rinny (I bet Rinny would wipe that smile off Chrissie's face)
    Undercard: Devon Palmer vs Thomas Gerlach (this would be ugly, lots of scratching)
    Undercard: Jim Lubinsky vs Lionel Sanders (muscular guys, can probably take a punch)
    Undercard: Paulo Sousa vs Dark Mark (boring match, they would trade insults back/forth then make out)
    Main Event: BEN HOBBS VS MACCA (Ben loses after illegally kicking Macca in the balls repeatedly)
  • DK200 - Final Roll Call

    I must look pretty trust worthy, since this is in my possession for the next 8 hours.
    It's ok. @Dark_mark gives VD to everyone. (Van Dessel that is)

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