Friday Boozing Open Thoughts Thread

yournotunique · February 2015

You could put "I rock the Cock", but that might be a better Grindr profile, now that I think about it.

HSeeley14 · February 2015

First, always be funny. If chicks can't get your sense of humour then no matter how hot they are they are probably too stupid to date - well, guess that depends on what you are looking for. Second, you say you are a chef, post pics of you making some awesome food and CLEANING UP AFTER. Then, once you show the domestic aspects of your character, give a few hints of some bad guy stuff, like how you stay up past 10 some nights and skip your swim workout even if your coach says you shouldn't, cause fuck it, you are your own man!

Aaron Webstey · February 2015

Agree with @HSeeley14 about showing sense of humour. When I met my wife I was 28 with no real job ("full time athlete" and some web contracting), no car, and living with 2 roommates in a craphole. Average at best both looks and boudoir skills, and am definitely not impressing anyone "down there".

But! I made her laugh. It's pretty much the only thing I had going for me.

You're a good looking dude and I know you're funny. I can't wait to hear what comes of @Dark_Mark 's tinder text!!

TimSchroeder · February 2015

@Dark_Mark I will totally play that up that you have the ability to score free hotel rooms.

@_MurMan Emily is the one on the furthest left. Also I have always found that throwing out that you've saved a baby seal after an oil spill usually goes over well.

_MurMan · February 2015

Everyone there has been some activity on tinder front: I am down one "match" but I pick up a new one and less than 24 hours after I used @Dark_Mark s genius bio I reviewed this:

He has told me he will help you be successful with the ladies too! For a small nominal fee of course.

yournotunique · February 2015

Do they come as a pair?!?

Ryan Heisler · February 2015

yournotunique · February 2015

Then you have to work on your technique *ba dum DUM*

HSeeley14 · February 2015

How fucking lazy do you have to be to type "NM HBU". I mean NBD, but RLY, just press the FCKN BTNS! But she does think your post is funny, sooooo....

Aaron Webstey · February 2015

@HSeeley14 that was the first thing that struck me. Since I got on Twitter in the fall, I thought I was in touch with the kids - but then I see something like that and realize that I have no fucking clue.

How do @_MurMan @zachboring @Kpressure and, even younger, @College_tri seem so normal?? Are you guys pariahs amongst your peers for using full sentences, or do you just dumb it down for us?

Zach Boring · February 2015

We are God's amongst men.

But really, I think it takes more effort to talk the cool way than to fumble my way throgh spelling normal words.

HMkrplunkit · February 2015

I like to misspell words instead of shorten them. Gets my point across better I think.
Also typing like that is actually hard to do. So Is TaLkINg LiKe ThIs ~~~lolz~~~ sUpEr KaWAi ~~~~~

HMkrplunkit · February 2015

Actually, yes, that short hand bothered me too.
If you are trying to either get a date or get laid you could at least make it look like you are giving a solid effort by typing out the 24 characters to say "nothing much. How about you?"

So glad I am not in the dating pool. Young people are sloppy (in every way possible)

morganstyer · February 2015

Ah, but there is the double standard @Kpressure. A "solid effort" amounts to a pulse for a female on an online dating site.

Brew_Tri · February 2015

lets see if i can get my tinder profile up here. give me a sec to get my shit together and Ill send pics. Autofill is the best invention in the world but I was never into shortening words like that. It's almost more work to write when you have to think about how to shorten everything. I also grew up with the unlimited text message era, where character count only means something on twitter.

@_MurMan you have puppy pics which is a crutch to say the least. Although a very respectable crutch.

Basically, if they message first they want butt stuff. If you message first you gotta hit them with a good one liner and then ask them about a detail of their profile to show that you care. BAM! Ask what they are doing this Friday. Always remember, "Bouquets get Butt stuff".

TheDonMagicDon · February 2015

I am not on tinder and haven't been single for a while, but I think if I was on tinder, girls who text like that would be EXACTLY what I'm looking for.

Aaron Webstey · February 2015

I just darkmarked my pants

_MurMan · February 2015

@College_tri its hard to determine if she really means we can do "butt stuff" or we can't do that.. "but stuff" when you don't live in a college town.

Also @AaronWebstey i think were all stuck in an adulthood limbo. We still wanna be young and cool but participate in a sport for midleage/trying to be better than you, assholes. (Not that That applies to anyone here i love everyone on our team. But let's look at the rest of the sport) so we have to portray maturity sometimes..

And last but certainly not least @HSeeley14 what the actual fuck does any of what you typed even mean?

Mark_after_Dark · February 2015

Murman you have to give me 20% of all ass you get with this new profile.

_MurMan · February 2015

well I hope you're okay with sharing because So far Ive only gotten one girl too talk to me. I really need to figure out this "being better looking" thing you brought up before!

HSeeley14 · February 2015

@_MurMan, beats the fuck out of me. I just guess that was how people were making up these texting words - just using all CAPS and only a few letters from random words.

_MurMan · February 2015

Guys it's totally working!! Thanks @Dark_Mark

Aaron Webstey · February 2015

Wait I just DarkMarked that because I assumed it was a spam bot ... Was she for real?

_MurMan · February 2015

@AaronWebstey It is a spam bot. I got a follow up message that read in part "don't worry about putting in your credit card number, its okay to do. they just want to make sure you're old enough" So I'd say things are heating up lol

morganstyer · February 2015

HSeeley14 · February 2015

@MorganStyer thank you for that reference - that movie never gets old. There are ZERO lines that can't be re-quoted a thousand times and still be funny.

Just think @_MurMan, there must be a Lafawnduh out there for you too.

oldmanchad · February 2015

College_tri said:
lets see if i can get my tinder profile up here. give me a sec to get my shit together and Ill send pics. Autofill is the best invention in the world but I was never into shortening words like that. It's almost more work to write when you have to think about how to shorten everything. I also grew up with the unlimited text message era, where character count only means something on twitter.

@_MurMan you have puppy pics which is a crutch to say the least. Although a very respectable crutch.

Basically, if they message first they want butt stuff. If you message first you gotta hit them with a good one liner and then ask them about a detail of their profile to show that you care. BAM! Ask what they are doing this Friday. Always remember, "Bouquets get Butt stuff".

Damn glad to have @College_tri on the team - fuck i'm old and have no clue what you all have to go through now a days. And @Kpressure thanks for spelling out that girls acronyms - IHNC what that stood for.

@_MurMan If you want to just get laid/or minimum meet a girl the old fashioned way - get her drunk and lie in person vice social media - i'm in Norfolk, Va next staying at the Marriott on Old Dominion University - she may not be good looking but I'll get you in the door. Plus I'm a great wing man because i'm married, with hot younger wife, and not into cheating so i'll be focused on your success. And you can make fun of me for drinking Miller Lites all night.

_MurMan · February 2015

@oldmanchad when are you in Norfolk?

Brew_Tri · February 2015

@oldmanchad Sorry but I am not on this team. I can't turn my back on my school. Also, I'm kind of lone wolf. I simply find it more interesting to follow this forum than slowtwitch. Most of you guys are a bit more down to earth.

I know all you guys are respectable adults so I will trust you wont put this on blast on twitter. Here is my tinder profile. Been working good for a while and I need to update it with some recent picks. At about 2k matches. The older you are the easier it gets. Most girls even at my school put a minimum age of 21-22. They look for older guys. Sadly most of the honeys I get aren't older than 20. Just a little analysis for you. If anyone has been following starky since the beginning you know i wrote a pretty good guide for old people on tinder.

http://www.therealstarky.com/blog/2014/4/20/collegetris-guide-to-tinder-for-old-people

-Ya Boi

Aaron Webstey · February 2015

@College_tri swipe right

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