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Bad Poetry Thread
Susan_B_Agony
Member
in Main
Rules: must rhyme (down with free verse!), extra points if smells like bad eggs, extra points for triathlon relevancy thingness.
Acceptable forms: haiku, limerick, quatrain, and sonnet
Things are getting raw
Need more lubrication
Chafing armpits suck
Acceptable forms: haiku, limerick, quatrain, and sonnet
Things are getting raw
Need more lubrication
Chafing armpits suck
Comments
Yours didn't rhyme so I bet
You feel like a tool
Master of the Absurd - King of all Polls
Kansas Native
Tweets Me
Queen of All Donut Awards
Groovy Auntie to Roosters everywhere
Master of the Absurd - King of all Polls
Kansas Native
Tweets Me
Who were a most critical pair
They came here to judge
I won't hold a grudge
But they should use a poem, to be fair
Haikus are acceptable
Refrigerator
About swimming & cycling & running is broadcast.
It covers all sorts of terrain,
From NASCAR to Messick and Kona to Bahrain,
But it's joke me off and Big Smooth that make it a blast.
Queen of All Donut Awards
Groovy Auntie to Roosters everywhere
And it would be business as it has been,
But Jan doth hulked out
Sebastian, on the bike, did rout
And thus Gomez only got second
Yet his first attempt was sadly marred,
As the lubrication line only had six,
Adding a Canadian "Eh?" would have been an easy fix.
But what do I know?
I'm a bad triathlete, only good at the swim,
So I thought why not, I'll give this a try on a whim.
Can nobody here turn a verse?
I'd trash talk some more
But Canucks are a bore
And I fight like I'm wearing a purse.
Should give women an apology
For he hath implied those with purses cannot fight
(what nonsense, has he seen Rhonda's vicious right?)
Or perhaps I'm the one in the wrong
For stereotyping those who wear the thong...
Dammit, deeper and deeper goes this hole I dig
Each passing line, I make myself more of a pig
So excuse me, I say,
while I join my bretheren in the mud and hay
P.S.
The Lubrication haiku was written in the middle of the night! Everything sounds like it has five syllables at 2:03 am!!
Is a genderless curse
If you're in a fight
And can't free your right
Surely a man-bag
Would, too, be a drag
So pack a big rock
For a bone-crushing *SOCK*
Your looks and your talent, divine.
Should you ever want to stray,
And try something gay,
I'll happily pay for the wine.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Kind of wish I was Canadian. Sorry.
I'd till much more land.
If I had 4 feet,
My village would eat.
If I had 4 hearts,
I'd fill all their carts.
But if I had 4 thumbs,
I'd just wish for more bums.
It feels as though the gauntlet has been cast
And dark forces gather to do battle
I wonder how long my strength can last
Against the Canadian man's mettle
Though his rhyme be strong and his rhythm at peak,
Still a chance there may be
The area in which comparatively he is weak
Be the lion's heart in me.
Sharp his wit, strong his verse,
But can he, the fight, carry on?
Should the battle turn for worse,
Will he still portray such lyrical brawn?
So I accept this confrontation and doth do hope to say
That and older version of this man, rue this day
For thou hast welcomed thy doom herein.
Thou dost not want to fuck with me
Or my guillotine which is poetry.
I am Webstey, forum admin
You don't know where these hands have been.
"I'll fuck yo ass up", said ol' Dirty
I offer the same epic challenge to thee.
Call me Dwayne cuz I bring the Heat
All y'all watching be in for a treat
As you see this lame admin go down 6 feet
Dude, you sure you want to battle?
Ima shake you up like you a baby's rattle
Make your lines sound like some nervous prattle
While I beat your ass red like a teacher's apple
Rhymes that turn this forum code obsolete like Morse
Shooting down your lines like I got magnum force
Knock your whole game off, watch you spin off course
Watch you gasp for air when your voice gets hoarse
Sure you want to battle with your rep on the line?
Besides, this so easy, it feels like a crime
You're clearly a baller and can not be beat.
So I'll stick with something that's more in my lane
And sneak in a kick to your calf with my cleat.
You won't see me coming; I'll be in your brain
You'll spend all your days on the edge of your seat
Dreading the day when you hear this refrain:
"Forum Template 2 - Do Not Delete".
You know, you know, you
Know, you know, you know, you know,
You know, you know, you.
Queen of All Donut Awards
Groovy Auntie to Roosters everywhere
We are fools.
I get the feeling you think this is a place to play
Shit is real here at T-R-S-tri.com
This ain't no playdate getting set up by mom
Continuing this fight is something for you to choose
But if you're coming to tango, best have a pair of dancing shoes
Holla at you from the great city of Chicago
Know more about hockey than Edmonton 'n Toronto (Three cups!)
This shit gonna get serious pronto-------
---when I switch up my style; master of flow
Rhymes so hot they'll leave you charred
Ruin your life, steal your wife/sister/girl and show
all them how to ride that bike leg hard
This is what you get when you fight the GOAT
Gonna need all of that free health care
Leave now and this can be all she wrote
Or the start of your worst nightmare
-----Agony----2015----yeah dis @AaronWebstey----Midwest REPRESENT
Came to shit but only farted
Wasted my time, but what the hell
At least I can sit and enjoy the smell
The Shithouse Poet
Doing it for the love of the game
It's about typing words til you feel the burn in your wrist
Winning POTM is not the same
Sure, it is vulgar
But I find it fun
I can't rule Twitter
With jokes or good puns.
The POTM
Could come from here, son
The winner gets picked by
A panel of one.
Day you can feed an African
They eat pennies
@robthwaites
I don't always win the race, but I've never lost a party.