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Stanned for Life from Slowtwitch

Stan Empfield is in the legacy building phase of his career now and for this reason he is more sensitive, dictatorial, and psychologically unstable than ever. What was once a safe space (Slowtwitch / Slowtwitch forums) to slam the people and companies that make this sport so repugnant -- wait, sorry, Slowtwitch was never that, but I tried my level best -- has become only a venue for circle jerking around videos from Talbot's cock and parsing abstruse topics like CdA and watts to spin.

In case you missed one of the three threads on the topic prior to Dan removing them -- apparently removing content is part of Dan's professed belief in the free flow of information -- I've been banned for life from Slowtwitch. Current thread: https://forum.slowtwitch.com/forum/Slowtwitch_Forums_C1/Triathlon_Forum_F1/You_can't_argue_balls_and_strikes_P6778415/

Oddly enough, this time I didn't do anything specific. Dan informed me of my permanent ban via email: "You’re not really interested, based on your posting, in the free flow of information and ideas. You’re a provocateur. And I’m tired of having thousands of people inconvenienced for the sake of one provocateur. Or a few. I’ve banned about a dozen people over the past 2 weeks." My response was: "Are you kidding me? My posting is ENTIRELY about instigating the free flow of information. THAT'S THE POINT."

A few weeks ago, after I stated in passing that De Soto products are a bit expensive for what they are, I received a classic Stan nastygram: "is it time for you to take some time off? Until your anger cools? When you (for example) take a drive by stab at de soto, just because you’re mad at de soto (there’s nothing contextual about your hit job) that’s just uncool. You may think it’s righteous, but it’s petty. Same with roka. Same thing with triathlon in general. 'it’s no secret that triathlon is dying'. In fact, all my metrics show that after 5 year over year decreases – which I’m very willing to admit to, and predicted it, and reported on it, before you or anyone else did back in 2013 – 2018 is an up year (more up than I thought it would be). So, I don’t know whether your anger is general or specific. But you need to solve it."

Actually, I am angry, actually, and the anger is both general and specific. Here's what I am angry about:

1) I'm angry that neither I nor any of my close friends want to do triathlon anymore because it is a lame sport full of the worst kind of type A douche bags, flaunting their wealth and faking physical superiority wherever possible while sucking wheel and taking T all the way to the Big Island. And I'm angry at Slowtwitch for glorifying the worst form of such douche bags: https://www.slowtwitch.com/Interview/Ed_Baker_s_Newest_Startup_7021.html

2) I'm angry that I buy triathlon products all the time that completely suck because nobody has the stones to say so in a public forum. I'm mad my Garmin doesn't work and that DC Rainmaker can't just say that a product is terrible.

I'm mad at experiences like this: https://forum.slowtwitch.com/forum/?post=6421298#p6421298

...in light of reviews like this: https://www.slowtwitch.com/Products/Tri_Bikes_2018/The_Andean_s_Long_Awaited_New_Stem_6856.html

3) I'm angry that the equipment and race entries and everything related to the sport makes all but the shittiest, smallest races inaccessible to those who aren't making at least six figures.

And I'm sick of people like Thom, an old white Republican from New England, making the impossibly stupid argument that the sport is affordable [in this case because its less expensive than owning private airlines and horses]: https://forum.slowtwitch.com/forum/?post=6758926#p6758926

4) I'm angry at Providence Equity/IRONMAN: for producing races so well that they became the sport itself, rather than an operator within it; for managing their business to extract the most cash possible from a customer base unable to pay the freight; and for acting with no regard for lifetime value of a business / sport they scaled rapidly only to jettison, leaving the sport and the dumb money from Asia holding the bag.

And I'm annoyed that with the resources of USAT and IRONMAN, this was the best they came up with: https://www.teamusa.org/USA-Triathlon/News/Articles-and-Releases/2018/February/05/Time-to-Tri

5) I'm angry there are no women in the sport, but I do not wonder why when the TriGod himself is asking how he can best tell women "you are slow because you are fat": https://forum.slowtwitch.com/forum/?post=6711916#p6711916

I am not angry at Stan Empfield, because his heart is in the right place and the trains run on time. He genuinely believes that the number of butthurt PMs he receives about a forum member is a good gauge for whether they should be banned and/or for whether they would be banned in a popular vote. He's not evil; he's just not very smart.

From here on out, I will only be posting on Slowtwitch as one of my fictional triathlete personas. The goal will be, as always, to change the cultural elements that are the source of my above anger and of course to instigate the free flow of information. Thank you in advance for allowing me to do so here.
Granpa ChookwchevronJohns622AaronWebsteyM_WareMattPreachSwansonGrantInSLCDerekLJames LangeMartinRobert Rankinsimonsen77dhrItsShugMaddie_McKCraig_DTad_Mfyrehaarjrielley1406
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Comments

  • Options
    NHetroNHetro Member, Rooster Endurance Member
    I didn't get a chance to read the first thread that Dan pulled, but there was a second thread concerning that first thread. It was entitled something like, "Did I miss something?".
    The next day, that second thread was pulled. There was nothing in that thread that was controversial.
    I was going to post a complaint here. ST has been so ass backwards. The majority of people on there are tools with no personality. Granted, that's the nature of our sport.
    Again, I know it's Dan's domain and we have to follow his rules, but his rules or application of his rules have been turning me off. Someday, I'll be that old and cranky, but that's not today.
    AaronWebsteyM_WarePubliusValeriusMartinCraig_DTad_M
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, Rooster Endurance Member, Rooster Endurance Officers
    I'm also not very smart, but you're unlikely to get banned here @PubliusValerius (unless you are a spam bot).
    M_WarePubliusValeriusTad_M
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    ellsworth53tellsworth53t Member, Rooster Endurance Member
    @PubliusValerius this seems like a thing that you should nail to the door of ST headquarters.
    PubliusValeriusAaronWebsteyKenElPescadoPeladoTad_Mslickfins_Ryan
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    MattMatt Member, Administrator, Rooster Endurance Member
    edited October 29
    Welcome to the club!

    I was permanently banned from ST (no warning or email, whatsoever) when I called Stan a hypocrite for publicly announcing your real name 2 years ago while simultaneously telling everyone "no pitchforks" in nearly every other drafting/cheater/etc. thread. And I never made public (on ST anyway) the fact that I was working in the industry.
  • Options
    And ironically, the thread about your banning is full of people who represent the worst of Slowtwitch.

    Webstey, can we get a Banned from Slowtwitch badge going here?
    NHetroGrantInSLCM_WareAaronWebsteyJennifer PostKenElPescadoPeladoPubliusValeriusTad_Mfyrehaarslickfins_Ryan
    I think I found my tribe of assholes.
  • Options
    regular_markregular_mark Member, Rooster Endurance Member, Rooster Endurance Officers
    edited October 29
    I got banned for making fun of the trust fundy, creationist, homophobic, flat-Earther, sycophant-turned-average-photographer, race banditing (WWJD) Talbot Cox.

    PevashishDaulPubliusValeriusItsShugMaddie_McKGranpa ChookTad_MNHetroGasBombpeteslickfins_Ryan
  • Options
    regular_markregular_mark Member, Rooster Endurance Member, Rooster Endurance Officers
    I have lots of stories. Maybe if I have some bourbon and people seem interested I will share.
    AaronWebsteyGrantInSLCJames LangeJennifer PostMaddie_McKCraig_DGranpa ChookNHetroMattpetefyrehaarslickfins_Ryan
  • Options
    regular_markregular_mark Member, Rooster Endurance Member, Rooster Endurance Officers
    spoiler alert im drinking bourbon
    AaronWebsteykjrunninMartinRobert RankinMaddie_McKCraig_DGranpa ChookGasBombpeteslickfins_Ryan
  • Options
    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, Rooster Endurance Member, Rooster Endurance Officers
    Yes please @Dark_mark !
  • Options
    regular_markregular_mark Member, Rooster Endurance Member, Rooster Endurance Officers
    @AaronWebstey you already know them, you were there in OKC when I got him to admit many many things.
    ItsShug
  • Options
    regular_markregular_mark Member, Rooster Endurance Member, Rooster Endurance Officers
    oh wait that was Zach Boring
    AaronWebstey
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, Rooster Endurance Member, Rooster Endurance Officers
    For a minute there you had me thinking I forgot a whole trip to OKC. Might be time for ol' Webstey to lay off the sauce
    MartinMattslickfins_Ryan
  • Options
    I enjoy this thread.
    MartinAaronWebsteyGranpa Chook
  • Options
    James LangeJames Lange Member, Rooster Endurance Member
    Dark_mark said:

    I got banned for making fun of the trust fundy, creationist, homophobic, flat-Earther, sycophant-turned-average-photographer, race banditing (WWJD) Talbot Cox.

    If this is true then I fear for Sanders. I'm pretty sure that he could be talked into believing anything.
    MartinJennifer PostAaronWebsteyMaddie_McKGranpa ChookTad_MMattpeteslickfins_Ryan


  • Options
    MartinMartin Member, Rooster Endurance Member
    First, thanks for this contextual ad, which never happens on ST:



    And I'm angry at Slowtwitch for glorifying the worst form of such douche bags: https://www.slowtwitch.com/Interview/Ed_Baker_s_Newest_Startup_7021.html



    Second, it's cool that you're here but it probably means a bunch of the people that live to argue with you are going to come over, so go to hell.


    DerekLJames LangeAaronWebsteyidking90Craig_DKenElPescadoPeladoTad_MMattGrantInSLCfyrehaar
  • Options
    KHilgendorfKHilgendorf Member, Rooster Endurance Member
    @Martin it does seem like pubes may have gotten a bit of sand in his vagina.

    Also, I tried to get banned from there a couple times but no dice. Instead I just stopped going and filled in the extra 3 hrs of my day with more porn.
    James Langeidking90Craig_DKenElPescadoPeladoTad_MNHetromaggieruMattJohns622slickfins_Ryan
  • Options
    ellsworth53tellsworth53t Member, Rooster Endurance Member
    edited October 29
    @KHilgendorf So you're the one who's been buying all those cases of Jergens with the Amazon Affiliate link. Keep it up! You're keeping the lights on around here.
    AaronWebsteyKenElPescadoPeladoTad_MmaggieruMattGrantInSLCslickfins_Ryan
  • Options
    When I started triathlon in 2013 I read on Slowtwitch and actually learned a lot. It has gotten pretty terrible, and I'll I use it for anymore is the Classifieds section because I don't make six figures.

    Fattest BQ on record--- *allegedly
    2016 (and last) Rev3 Cedar Point champ- don't google the time though
  • Options
    KHilgendorfKHilgendorf Member, Rooster Endurance Member
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, Rooster Endurance Member, Rooster Endurance Officers
    I swear to Hobbs, I had nothing to do with that.
    PevashishDaulJennifer PostCraig_DKenElPescadoPeladoTad_MJames LangemaggieruMattGrantInSLC
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    Dark_mark said:

    I got banned for making fun of the trust fundy, creationist, homophobic, flat-Earther, sycophant-turned-average-photographer, race banditing (WWJD) Talbot Cox.

    Just don't make fun of his music -- that is where the dude draws the line.
    Jennifer Post
  • Options
    dhrdhr Member
    I got banned for telling Stan he’s a goddamn simpleton.

    I trust the sycophants lining up to worship at his altar do so only with the hope they’ll get a free trucker hat or ugly jersey or something.
    AaronWebsteyPevashishDaul
  • Options
    Never did create an account on that site. The few times I followed any links from here, it seemed to resemble an infinity mirror of buttholes. So, am I missing anything useful by not going there?

    Matt
    Sometimes I tweet... Follow PescadoPelado
  • Options
    James LangeJames Lange Member, Rooster Endurance Member
    If I remember correctly I got banned from ST for my first (and only) post, a link to a TRS article I wrote.
    GasBombKenElPescadoPeladomaggieruMattgregkkjrunninCraig_DdhrMartin


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    GasBombGasBomb Member, Rooster Endurance Member, Level 2 Supporter
    Dark_mark said:

    oh wait that was Zach Boring

    I miss Zach.
    KenElPescadoPeladoM_WareJames LangeAaronWebsteyTad_MMartin

    Clay Richard Gasway
    King of all Mediocrity
  • Options
    maggierumaggieru Member, Pro Triathlete
    I demand my "BANNED FROM ST" badge! #earnedit
    M_WareMattJames LangeAaronWebsteyGrantInSLCgregkTad_MKenElPescadoPeladoDerekLMartinPevashishDaul
    insta: @magrusch
  • Options
    MattMatt Member, Administrator, Rooster Endurance Member
    edited October 30
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, Rooster Endurance Member, Rooster Endurance Officers
    Matt said:

    Done!

    Brilliant. I was hesitating because I couldn't come up with a good image to use.

    http://triroost.com/yaga/badges/72/stanned
    gregkKenElPescadoPeladokjrunninwchevronCraig_DDerekL
  • Options
    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, Rooster Endurance Member, Rooster Endurance Officers
    Credit to @Dark_mark for originally posting (and presumably, inspiring) that image.
    MattTad_MMartin
  • Options
    MattMatt Member, Administrator, Rooster Endurance Member
    It couldn't be any other image. Unless you want to slap the faces of several most-known users of ST onto the image (Stan, Herb, Rapp, DevP, H20, etc.)
    GrantInSLCMartinPevashishDaul

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