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Give me your best triathlon specific one-liners or motivational quotes

I'm thinking of preparing small index-card like handouts for Triathlon on the Mira on Sunday to put in each race kit. We're not doing medals so it's a cheap way to give people a take away from the race. I know rev3 did/does something similar, things like "Best of luck" or "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you". Stupid shit that people will eat up

What are some that you think would apply? Any and all appreciated. "eat a dick" will definitely be posted on a few cards as well.
AaronWebstey

Comments

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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    "You're never going to the Olympics you stupid loser, just give up and get a real job already"
    - Spoken by, and to, Aaron Webb after every race
    Craig_DMattGasBombHSeeley14KenElPescadoPeladoMartinidking90Dark_markKuch
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    Tad_MTad_M Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, Level 2 Supporter
    edited July 25

    "You're never going to the Olympics you stupid loser, just give up and get a real job already"
    - Spoken by, and to, Aaron Webb after every race

    Too bad this wasn't 7 generations later, Barrie Shepley would have had to say 128 surnames during this slur.......
    GasBombAaronWebsteyCraig_DKenElPescadoPelado

    #Sworry 2019 - See you there!
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    Craig_DCraig_D Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Saw this on someone’s TT bike at last years TdF. “Take the risk or lose the chance”. Suggest putting that on every other card and see how many epic blowups occur. Any how the rider had a chance but failed to make a splash. Can’t recall who it was.
    AaronWebsteyHSeeley14
    Canadian Division
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    MattMatt Member, Administrator
    @Craig D that's Romain Bardet's top tube from this year's TdF.



    'Use the Body Glide'
    'Don't trust that fart'
    'I shaved my balls for this?'
    'Naked Beer Mile in 20 minutes.'
    Craig_DAaronWebsteyHSeeley14KenElPescadoPeladodoyoueventribroStruangKuch
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    "you miss 100% of the drugs you don't take"
    Craig_DwchevronJennifer PostTad_MHSeeley14KenElPescadoPeladoMartinRashKuch
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    wchevronwchevron Member
    My mother has a t-shirt she wears at every IM I do. "You'll never finish." She says it's reverse psychology but I'm not so sure.
    Tad_MkjrunninCraig_DAaronWebsteyHSeeley14KenElPescadoPeladoRash
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    bbculpbbculp Member
    "Hurry up, your family is bored."
    Tad_MKHilgendorfMattCraig_DAaronWebsteyHSeeley14StruangKuch
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    wchevron said:

    My mother has a t-shirt she wears at every IM I do. "You'll never finish." She says it's reverse psychology but I'm not so sure.

    I need to start wearing one of these to bed
    Johns622Martinidking90Rashwchevronmbrekk44A_Monroe
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    HSeeley14HSeeley14 Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    "you think this is hard? try quitting, that will suck even more"
    "don't be a pussy"
    "you look great in spandex, unless it's red or white, then you made a grave mistake"
    "the training you put in to get here IS your accomplishment, a race is just another day so have fun for crying out loud!"
    Of course, because it's me, if I were actually giving people quotes these would end with ....fuckwad.
    AaronWebsteyM_WareCraig_DTad_MJohns622kjrunnin
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    @HSeeley14 wins as always
    M_WareTad_MHSeeley14
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    Craig_DCraig_D Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member

    wchevron said:

    My mother has a t-shirt she wears at every IM I do. "You'll never finish." She says it's reverse psychology but I'm not so sure.

    I need to start wearing one of these to work
    Fixed it for you


    KenElPescadoPeladoTad_MAaronWebsteyMartin
    Canadian Division
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    Craig_DCraig_D Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    I’d be afraid to do a race with @HSeeley14. Instead of high fives she’d give you a wedgie and kick you in the ass to get you running faster. Kinda scared to do GWN 2019 with her
    AaronWebsteyHSeeley14
    Canadian Division
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    Jennifer PostJennifer Post Member, Level 2 Supporter
    I think it was Macca who always said, “embrace the suck”.
    AaronWebsteyMartin
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    KenElPescadoPeladoKenElPescadoPelado Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    "DNF'ers are not welcome at the beer tent."
    Johns622Struang
    Sometimes I tweet... Follow PescadoPelado
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member

    "DNF'ers are not welcome at the beer tent."

    Untrue, DNFers are the warmup act at the beer tent. Sworry.
    Tad_MCraig_DKenElPescadoPeladoStruang
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    MartinMartin Member
    Run like you stole something.
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    Johns622Johns622 Member
    "You're never going to get up that hill.... you jackass"
    Matt
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    MattMatt Member, Administrator
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    Robert RankinRobert Rankin Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member


    On a serious note I did appreciate the hand written card Rev3 sent out
    M_WareAaronWebsteyMartinCraig_DHSeeley14

    Fattest BQ on record--- *allegedly
    2016 (and last) Rev3 Cedar Point champ- don't google the time though
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    edited July 26
    Hrm, seems that I'm the only tri-rooster that's on this forum while at work...this kind of blew up overnight.

    I'm thinking of just using quotes from the office to make it easier

    "If I had a gun with two bullets and was trapped in a room with a swimmer, a cyclist and a runner I would shoot the swimmer twice"


    M_WareCraig_DMattMartinAaronWebsteyKenElPescadoPeladoHSeeley14Tad_MStruangKuch
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    MartinMartin Member

    Hrm, seems that I'm the only tri-rooster that's on this forum while at work...this kind of blew up overnight.

    I'm thinking of just using quotes from the office to make it easier

    "If I had a gun with two bullets and was trapped in a room with a swimmer, a cyclist and a runner I would shoot the swimmer twice"

    Or the swimmer version of this:
    ""If I had a gun with two bullets and was trapped in a room with a two triathletes, I would use one bullet to try to destroy their stupid pace beeper things, then threaten to shoot the first one that mentioned using a GPS watch in the pool."
    AaronWebsteydoyoueventribroKenElPescadoPelado
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    KenElPescadoPeladoKenElPescadoPelado Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member



    On a serious note I did appreciate the hand written card Rev3 sent out


    M_WareTad_Msimonsen77Struang
    Sometimes I tweet... Follow PescadoPelado
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    HSeeley14HSeeley14 Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Craig D said:

    I’d be afraid to do a race with @HSeeley14. Instead of high fives she’d give you a wedgie and kick you in the ass to get you running faster. Kinda scared to do GWN 2019 with her

    Let's make GWN 2019 the official Canadian TRS race. Don't be a bunch of pussies - come visit your northern cousins before we build a wall!
    M_WarekjrunninCraig_DTad_MAaronWebsteyKenElPescadoPelado
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    Tad_MTad_M Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, Level 2 Supporter
    edited July 26
    HSeeley14 said:

    Craig D said:

    I’d be afraid to do a race with @HSeeley14. Instead of high fives she’d give you a wedgie and kick you in the ass to get you running faster. Kinda scared to do GWN 2019 with her

    Let's make GWN 2019 the official Canadian TRS race. Don't be a bunch of pussies - come visit your northern cousins before we build a wall!
    Since @HSeeley14 and @Craig D are faster than me, can I get a guarantee that Craig will give me a beer handup at the finish while Heather cusses me out ? I'm not confirmed yet, but these would be dealbreakers.

    No pain, No pain
    KenElPescadoPelado

    #Sworry 2019 - See you there!
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    HSeeley14 said:

    Craig D said:

    I’d be afraid to do a race with @HSeeley14. Instead of high fives she’d give you a wedgie and kick you in the ass to get you running faster. Kinda scared to do GWN 2019 with her

    Let's make GWN 2019 the official Canadian TRS race. Don't be a bunch of pussies - come visit your northern cousins before we build a wall!
    Should we have an east/west/central "official" race. It's cheaper for me to race in Europe than it is to race in Penticton
    MartinCraig_DKenElPescadoPelado
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    Craig_DCraig_D Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Should we have an east/west/central "official" race. It's cheaper for me to race in Europe than it is to race in Penticton

    The GWN is just outside of Edmonton. If you make a vacation out of it you could hit the ITU race as well. I can accommodate a few in my home and in my travel trailer in the back yard to make it cheap.

    I like the idea of a couple of Team Canada team designated races. I’ll be soliciting feedback from Canadians in the fall. I’ll add it to the list.

    KenElPescadoPelado
    Canadian Division
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    Brew_TriBrew_Tri Member
    "Shit or get off the pot."
    "You're never too old, just too wise."
    "Its garbage can, not garbage cannot."
    KenElPescadoPelado
    Yay Sports! :#
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    Yeah so I didn't end up doing these but it's in my back pocket for next year.

    We literally finished stuffing race kits at 5:00 when kit pick up was at 5:30...couldn't set up transition the night before because of some leftover cars in a parking lot so it was a 4:00 am start.

    My crew absolutely nailed it and I can't thank them enough. Very few incidents were visible on the athlete side of things and apart from a few people taking spills on the bike everyone had a very safe event.

    I plan on doing a long form post...maybe even a blog...about the whole "how to be a race director" experience. Lots of people came up to me with words like, "don't you wish you were racing" and I just told them that Triathlon isn't about the times, awards, cool swag, medals or placings, it's about community, camaraderie and memories. At the end of the day memories and shared experiences with our loved ones is really all we have in this world and triathlon really brings out the best in people with regards to that.

    We had so many first time triathletes today (probably 35-40 out of 141) and to facilitate and provide a platform for them to achieve their goals was a truly humbling experience. It's a day they'll never forget, much like my first triathlon was

    M_WareMattCraig_DwchevronAaronWebsteyKuchKenElPescadoPeladoTad_MJennifer PostGranpa Chook
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    Tad_MTad_M Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, Level 2 Supporter
    So fantastic @doyoueventribro ! Congrats on a job well done in delivering a great experience, specially to first timers!!!!! We need many more of you in this sport who understand what the real priorities should be! I can't wait to proudly wear my hat.
    AaronWebsteyM_WareCraig_DJennifer Postdoyoueventribro

    #Sworry 2019 - See you there!

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