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How do you pay little or no bike fee on United

AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
$200 fucking dollars each way for a bike on the flight to Aruba. I need to get that down to $0-$50, or I'm leaving my bike home and renting a cruiser with a banana seat once I get there. I'm positive some of you must have pulled this off in the past - anyone?
HSeeley14MamaCheetah
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Comments

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    @dcrainmaker im sure said the bag he uses works
    M_Ware
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    MattMatt Member, Administrator
    By not flying United.
    AaronWebsteyM_WareCraig DEmilyCockskjrunninHSeeley14Tad_Machrowiczidking90Kelly O'MaraMamaCheetahyournotunique
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Matt said:

    By not flying United.

    United, YHZ-AUA: 9.5 hours.
    All other airlines: 18.5 hours.

    Sometimes I hate living in Nova Scotia
    MamaCheetah
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    Zach MillerZach Miller Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    I have used the hen house and had no issues, or @AJ Baucco hockey bag
    AaronWebstey
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Struang said:

    @dcrainmaker im sure said the bag he uses works

    I thought I read something from a few years ago by him, I'll have to look it up again I guess. My impression was that it might be outdated by now.
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    Go back in time? I never got charged back in 2002-2007
    AaronWebsteyTad_Machrowicz
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member

    I have used the hen house and had no issues, or @AJ Baucco hockey bag

    AJ, was it here or your blog where you did a little how-to on the hockey bag trick?
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    MattMatt Member, Administrator
    I see Direct with Air Canada, but not on your dates.
    AaronWebstey
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Man, I really hope I can find someone with a hockey bag I can borrow.
    HSeeley14
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Matt said:

    I see Direct with Air Canada, but not on your dates.

    Direct f'ing flights?? Are they anywhere even near the right dates? Jesus, I guess I should have looked harder
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    Man, I really hope I can find someone with a hockey bag I can borrow.

    The most practical thing is have someone in the US send you one. I hear they're near impossible to find in Canada.
    M_WareStruangCraig DAaronWebsteykjrunninAlexSTad_MachrowiczBrent_RRobert Rankinyournotunique
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    Craig DCraig D Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member

    Man, I really hope I can find someone with a hockey bag I can borrow.

    Just checking.... you're still in Canada right?

    AaronWebsteyTad_MachrowiczKenElPescadoPelado
    Canadian Division
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Craig D said:

    Man, I really hope I can find someone with a hockey bag I can borrow.

    Just checking.... you're still in Canada right?

    Yeah, I was kidding.
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    Craig DCraig D Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member

    Matt said:

    I see Direct with Air Canada, but not on your dates.

    Direct f'ing flights?? Are they anywhere even near the right dates? Jesus, I guess I should have looked harder
    After the shitshow that unfolded with United when I went to Mexico with my bike I'd fly to Toronto then Aruba. Cheaper in the long run. Bike fees were more than my fare ffs. Air Canada is costing me $35 each way to New York Friday.

    AaronWebsteyKenElPescadoPelado
    Canadian Division
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    Craig DCraig D Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
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    kjrunninkjrunnin Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, Level 2 Supporter
    This might be a stupid question but it's far from my first and unlikely to be my last so... Do I have to tell the airlines in advance that I'm bringing a bike or do I just show up at the airport with it, along with my overpacked suitcase, guaranteed to be at least half full with things I won't wear on the trip.

    KenElPescadoPeladoM_WareCraig Dyournotunique

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    Tad_MachrowiczTad_Machrowicz Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, Level 2 Supporter
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    maggierumaggieru Member, Pro Triathlete
    Forget who shared this with me -- but someone out there tells the check-in people that their bike bag is a portable sex swing. Sure to shut things down quickly.

    I have a Ruster... sometimes it works, but usually there's plenty of hemming and hawing and bending of the truth if I want to squeak by. (Related: Thank you Jesse Thomas for working to ruin the purpose of the undercover camo ruster by flying in spandex). I don't like to lie so I usually say "ergometer" or "marketing materials", both somewhat truthful in nature. Other things I've heard: massage table, tuba, instruments, diving gear.
    KenElPescadoPeladoyournotunique
    insta: @magrusch
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    maggierumaggieru Member, Pro Triathlete
    @kjrunnin don't tell them you have a bike and pre-pay for your bags as though not oversized or a bike. If you get a lazy or ignorant check-in person they won't bat an eye and charge you extra. Being super nice/chatty and acting like your bag is light and maneuverable also helps hide that you have giant luggage
    kjrunninM_WareCraig DTad_Machrowicz
    insta: @magrusch
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    ItsShugItsShug Member, Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    edited September 13
    Utilize nature's pocket and Keister it down there.
    AaronWebsteymbrekk44
    Demotivational Speaker
    Master of the Absurd - King of all Polls
    Kansas Native
    Tweets Me  Follow ItsShug
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    scottyscotty Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    There was a guy at camp who used a rectangular hard shell case and would tell airlines it was a massage table.
    ______


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    Find a super premium credit card with no fee that gets you baggage privileges. Or join the army.
    M_WareTad_Machrowicz
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    RashRash Member
    edited September 13
    Wait, triathletes fly commercial? I never pay bag fees when I charter. I suppose you could just tell them it's dental equipment?
    M_WareMattscottyCraig DTad_MachrowiczKenElPescadoPeladoyournotunique
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Martin said:

    Find a super premium credit card with no fee that gets you baggage privileges. Or join the army.

    What do you mean, join the army - like take an air force jet or do army people get bikes in for free?
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    AJ BauccoAJ Baucco Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, TRS/Baucco Officers, Pro Triathlete

    I have used the hen house and had no issues, or @AJ Baucco hockey bag

    AJ, was it here or your blog where you did a little how-to on the hockey bag trick?
    I never did a blog about it.... The hockey bag has worked for me 99% of the time. The only time it didn't work was the 1 time that I flew United. Fuck them.... still worth a shot though. The key is disguising the bike and then lying to them no matter what. Do Canadians know how to lie?
    M_WareAaronWebsteyTad_MachrowiczKenElPescadoPeladoKelly O'MaraBrent_Ryournotunique
    Pro Triathlete, Coach, and Inaugural Kona Beer Mile Champion
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    AJ BauccoAJ Baucco Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, TRS/Baucco Officers, Pro Triathlete
    Another option is to disguise the bike, and then check it curbside. Again, not sure if Canada offers that service. May just be for lazy Americans. But I just tip those guys $5 and they never ask me anything about the bike.
    ItsShugAaronWebsteyTad_Machrowicz
    Pro Triathlete, Coach, and Inaugural Kona Beer Mile Champion
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    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Lying and fancy airport porters? May as well just start lubing up right now. :)

    Thanks @AJ Baucco . May try the hockey bag.
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    Craig DCraig D Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    I plan on checking in at the kiosk and just paying baggage fees right there. Flying out of Canada is easy as they want you to go to the kiosk first then take your bags to the counter. I bought a Bknd Jetpack and it'll be about 55 lbsfrom the looks of things so I will have to spring for the extra charge. I'll let you know how it works out.
    AaronWebsteyM_Ware
    Canadian Division
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    Tad_MachrowiczTad_Machrowicz Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, Level 2 Supporter
    AJ Baucco said:

    Another option is to disguise the bike, and then check it curbside. Again, not sure if Canada offers that service. May just be for lazy Americans. But I just tip those guys $5 and they never ask me anything about the bike.

    I can't believe this simple solution escaped me. This sounds like the highest probability yet of all the flim flams mentioned. (except @maggieru 's sex swing idea - somehow I'm thinking I can't pull that off)
    M_WareCraig DAaronWebsteyKelly O'Mara

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    @Tad_Machrowicz Make sure you have a mustache and wink when you say it's a sex swing. That either ends the conversation (and your bike will fly for free) or it starts a very awkward exchange. Either way we all win when you post about your experience.
    wchevronTad_MachrowiczKenElPescadoPeladoM_WaremaggieruAaronWebsteyStruangmbrekk44simonsen77Brent_Ryournotunique

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