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Bad Poetry Thread

Rules: must rhyme (down with free verse!), extra points if smells like bad eggs, extra points for triathlon relevancy thingness.

Acceptable forms: haiku, limerick, quatrain, and sonnet

Things are getting raw
Need more lubrication
Chafing armpits suck
«13

Comments

  • Options
    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    You broke your own rule
    Yours didn't rhyme so I bet
    You feel like a tool
    ItsShugkjrunninJoshRFastCat1107Tad_MBrendo78
  • Options
    ItsShugItsShug Member, Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Matt
    Demotivational Speaker
    Master of the Absurd - King of all Polls
    Kansas Native
    Tweets Me  Follow ItsShug
  • Options
    M_WareM_Ware Member, Level 2 Supporter
    How many syllables in lubrication?
    Queen of All Pins and A+ Enabler
    Send your Pinterest suggestions to me at:
    QOAP@triroost.com
    http://www.pinterest.com/triroost/
    Queen of All Donut Awards
    Groovy Auntie to Roosters everywhere
  • Options
    ItsShugItsShug Member, Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    edited August 2015
    i think its one short. I'm only counting 6 in that line.
    M_Ware
    Demotivational Speaker
    Master of the Absurd - King of all Polls
    Kansas Native
    Tweets Me  Follow ItsShug
  • Options
    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    There once were @ItsShug and @M Ware
    Who were a most critical pair
    They came here to judge
    I won't hold a grudge
    But they should use a poem, to be fair
    Susan_B_AgonyItsShugneil5youngRob ThwaiteskjrunninbalsdorfFastCat1107Tad_M
  • Options
    Fvck all the haters
    Haikus are acceptable
    Refrigerator
    AaronWebsteyM_WareJoshRTad_M
  • Options
    M_WareM_Ware Member, Level 2 Supporter
    From a closet in Austin a podcast
    About swimming & cycling & running is broadcast.
    It covers all sorts of terrain,
    From NASCAR to Messick and Kona to Bahrain,
    But it's joke me off and Big Smooth that make it a blast.
    AaronWebsteySusan_B_AgonyJames LangeyournotuniqueKenElPescadoPeladoFastCat1107
    Queen of All Pins and A+ Enabler
    Send your Pinterest suggestions to me at:
    QOAP@triroost.com
    http://www.pinterest.com/triroost/
    Queen of All Donut Awards
    Groovy Auntie to Roosters everywhere
  • Options
    Everyone thought Javier would win,
    And it would be business as it has been,
    But Jan doth hulked out
    Sebastian, on the bike, did rout
    And thus Gomez only got second
    M_Ware
  • Options
    Write a haiku he said, it won't be hard,
    Yet his first attempt was sadly marred,
    As the lubrication line only had six,
    Adding a Canadian "Eh?" would have been an easy fix.
    But what do I know?
    I'm a bad triathlete, only good at the swim,
    So I thought why not, I'll give this a try on a whim.
    M_WareSusan_B_AgonywchevronTad_M
  • Options
    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    I feel this is just getting worse
    Can nobody here turn a verse?
    I'd trash talk some more
    But Canucks are a bore
    And I fight like I'm wearing a purse.
    M_WareHeyKimmaySusan_B_AgonyTad_M
  • Options
    The King of all Technology
    Should give women an apology

    For he hath implied those with purses cannot fight
    (what nonsense, has he seen Rhonda's vicious right?)

    Or perhaps I'm the one in the wrong
    For stereotyping those who wear the thong...

    Dammit, deeper and deeper goes this hole I dig
    Each passing line, I make myself more of a pig

    So excuse me, I say,
    while I join my bretheren in the mud and hay

    P.S.
    The Lubrication haiku was written in the middle of the night! Everything sounds like it has five syllables at 2:03 am!!



    AaronWebsteyHeyKimmayM_WareTad_M
  • Options
    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Wearing a purse
    Is a genderless curse
    If you're in a fight
    And can't free your right
    Surely a man-bag
    Would, too, be a drag
    So pack a big rock
    For a bone-crushing *SOCK*
    Susan_B_AgonyHeyKimmayTad_M
  • Options
    slickfins_Ryanslickfins_Ryan Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Vincent Luis you are so fine,

    Your looks and your talent, divine.

    Should you ever want to stray,

    And try something gay,

    I'll happily pay for the wine.



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Susan_B_AgonyAaronWebsteyneil5youngCraig_DTad_M
    Kind of wish I was Canadian. Sorry.
  • Options

    Wearing a purse
    Is a genderless curse
    If you're in a fight
    And can't free your right
    Surely a man-bag
    Would, too, be a drag
    So pack a big rock
    For a bone-crushing *SOCK*

    If I had more hands, I would give this four thumbs up
    AaronWebstey
  • Options
    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    If I had 4 hands,
    I'd till much more land.
    If I had 4 feet,
    My village would eat.
    If I had 4 hearts,
    I'd fill all their carts.

    But if I had 4 thumbs,
    I'd just wish for more bums.
  • Options
    @AaronWebstey

    It feels as though the gauntlet has been cast
    And dark forces gather to do battle
    I wonder how long my strength can last
    Against the Canadian man's mettle

    Though his rhyme be strong and his rhythm at peak,
    Still a chance there may be
    The area in which comparatively he is weak
    Be the lion's heart in me.

    Sharp his wit, strong his verse,
    But can he, the fight, carry on?
    Should the battle turn for worse,
    Will he still portray such lyrical brawn?

    So I accept this confrontation and doth do hope to say
    That and older version of this man, rue this day
    AaronWebstey
  • Options
    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    Slay thy dragons, caress thy kin
    For thou hast welcomed thy doom herein.
    Thou dost not want to fuck with me
    Or my guillotine which is poetry.

    I am Webstey, forum admin
    You don't know where these hands have been.
    "I'll fuck yo ass up", said ol' Dirty
    I offer the same epic challenge to thee.
    yournotuniqueKenElPescadoPelado
  • Options
    Susan_B_AgonySusan_B_Agony Member
    edited September 2015
    Just want you to know that I can't be beat,
    Call me Dwayne cuz I bring the Heat
    All y'all watching be in for a treat
    As you see this lame admin go down 6 feet

    Dude, you sure you want to battle?
    Ima shake you up like you a baby's rattle
    Make your lines sound like some nervous prattle
    While I beat your ass red like a teacher's apple

    Rhymes that turn this forum code obsolete like Morse
    Shooting down your lines like I got magnum force
    Knock your whole game off, watch you spin off course
    Watch you gasp for air when your voice gets hoarse

    Sure you want to battle with your rep on the line?
    Besides, this so easy, it feels like a crime
    kjrunnin
  • Options
    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    I fear I can't match you, when shit gets urbane
    You're clearly a baller and can not be beat.
    So I'll stick with something that's more in my lane
    And sneak in a kick to your calf with my cleat.

    You won't see me coming; I'll be in your brain
    You'll spend all your days on the edge of your seat
    Dreading the day when you hear this refrain:
    "Forum Template 2 - Do Not Delete".
  • Options
    M_WareM_Ware Member, Level 2 Supporter
    A haiku in honor of last week's podcast.

    You know, you know, you
    Know, you know, you know, you know,
    You know, you know, you.

    AaronWebsteySusan_B_Agonyslickfins_RyanwchevronyournotuniqueRob ThwaitesGranpa Chook
    Queen of All Pins and A+ Enabler
    Send your Pinterest suggestions to me at:
    QOAP@triroost.com
    http://www.pinterest.com/triroost/
    Queen of All Donut Awards
    Groovy Auntie to Roosters everywhere
  • Options
    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    @M Ware rules,
    We are fools.
    M_Ware
  • Options

    @M Ware rules,
    We are fools.

    Bullshit. I'm the greatest

    M_Wareslickfins_RyanTad_M
  • Options
    Susan_B_AgonySusan_B_Agony Member
    edited September 2015
    Alright Webstey, Even though I like what you say
    I get the feeling you think this is a place to play

    Shit is real here at T-R-S-tri.com
    This ain't no playdate getting set up by mom

    Continuing this fight is something for you to choose
    But if you're coming to tango, best have a pair of dancing shoes

    Holla at you from the great city of Chicago
    Know more about hockey than Edmonton 'n Toronto (Three cups!)
    This shit gonna get serious pronto-------

    ---when I switch up my style; master of flow
    Rhymes so hot they'll leave you charred
    Ruin your life, steal your wife/sister/girl and show
    all them how to ride that bike leg hard

    This is what you get when you fight the GOAT
    Gonna need all of that free health care
    Leave now and this can be all she wrote
    Or the start of your worst nightmare

    -----Agony----2015----yeah dis @AaronWebstey----Midwest REPRESENT
    slickfins_Ryan
  • Options
    wchevronwchevron Member
    edited September 2015
    Here I sit, all broken hearted
    Came to shit but only farted
    Wasted my time, but what the hell
    At least I can sit and enjoy the smell

    The Shithouse Poet
    slickfins_RyanSusan_B_AgonyAaronWebstey
  • Options
    Dark_markDark_mark Member, TRS/Baucco Team Member, TRS/Baucco Officers
    anyone who posted here is out of the running for POTM
    AlexS
  • Options
    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    You wish!
    AlexS
  • Options
    Dark Mark said:

    anyone who posted here is out of the running for POTM

    I'm not posting to be number one on your list
    Doing it for the love of the game
    It's about typing words til you feel the burn in your wrist
    Winning POTM is not the same

  • Options
    AaronWebsteyAaronWebstey Administrator, TRS/Baucco Team Member
    edited September 2015
    @Dark Mark

    Sure, it is vulgar
    But I find it fun
    I can't rule Twitter
    With jokes or good puns.

    The POTM
    Could come from here, son
    The winner gets picked by
    A panel of one.
    slickfins_RyanSusan_B_AgonyRob ThwaitesMatt_Froese
  • Options
    This is what I imagine the Webster be like after that post:

    image
    AaronWebsteyslickfins_RyanHeyKimmayDawnCRob Thwaitestrsradio69kjrunnin
  • Options
    For fifteen cents a
    Day you can feed an African
    They eat pennies
    @robthwaites
    I don't always win the race, but I've never lost a party.

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